I am really uncomfortable writing this. I am uncomfortable doing most things.

I am uncomfortable being a human because to be a human is to experience things I don’t have any control over and I don’t want to experience things I don’t have control over.

Frankly it sucks. And then I get very binary about it. It’s like “I want to control everything” or “I will control nothing.” Have it all together perfectly or just give up completely and feel sorry for myself.

Pretty lame, am I right?

There is a little girl in a photo on my altar. She is me at about 8, around the time the BIG…